Okay, the REAL title of the movie I watched was “A Christmas Wedding Date.”
I always see the ads for the “Christmas Movie Specials” on the Hallmark Channel or, in this case, on ION (don’t have an antenna in your attic? Sad!), and I always think smirkingly, “I wonder how bad those really are?”
The answer is REALLY, REALLY bad. The depths of the badness can almost not be plumbed, but I will give you a sampling of my tweets from two nights ago. My husband suggested lovingly that perhaps the only way that I (and he) were going to get through it was to live-tweet it, and he was right.
“It’s a cross between a rip off of Groundhog Day, a Christmas Carol, and….excrement?” (I try hard to not cuss on Twitter, but if there were ever a time…)
“‘Marriage is a gift you give YOURSELF.’ Um, how, exactly?” Actual quote from the movie.
“OMG I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT GEORGE WENDT IS GOD! Or fate, or something?” True story! Norm showed up, maybe 30 lbs lighter and looking ROUGH, to play God in the story. Poor guy. I hope it bought him a vacation house somewhere or at least a vacation.
There was one redeeming thing about this whole two hour mess. There was a pastor who did the wedding (see: title) that kept happening over and over again (see: Groundhog day rip-off) who was neither a horrible stereotype or totally strange. He seemed like a normal guy and his sermon is even a turning point in the “plot.” He says that our path winds like a river (okay, terrible) and that the only way to find where we’re going is to listen to “his” (here, he points up to the sky) wisdom. Not bad, especially for this garbage dump of a movie. And…bonus! he even mentions God! Rare in a TV pastor.
My stereotypes were all confirmed by watching this….that people will watch just about anything when it has Christmas attached to it, even if there was NOTHING Christmasy about it at all. And it made me even more excited to watch and write about the classics that are (mostly) original stories about love happening at Christmas. Stay tuned….
Dear baby Jesus, we want love so badly that we look for it in all kinds of crazy places! Be with us as we watch our paths wind like a river, and help us to know where true love is found. Amen.